Selling Pumpkins is Not Like Selling Cars
by Heidi Erickson
Summary: A very random and possibly lame one-shot I wrote for Angela's birthday! About spy ducks, evil and adorable kids, Red Vines, and pumpkins! Please read and review! CHANNY.


_**Selling Pumpkins is Not Like Selling Cars**_

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_**A/N: HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Guess what?**_

_**TRICK-AND-TREATING!**_

_**No, not that!**_

_**CANDY!**_

_**No, no, think bigger!**_

_**COSTUMES!**_

_**No, silly! THAT!**_

_**SPY DUCKS!**_

_**Excuse me?**_

_**ANGELA'S BIRTHDAY!**_

_**BINGO! :D**_

_**Happy birthday to you, dear McLovingIt! :) You are an amazing, happy, sweet, and charming girl and I am honored to be your friend. :D I love you! Have a great birthday and be happy! :) You deserve it. We met through the whole plagiarism fiasco in spring…I'm not happy that happened, but I'm also happy it did, because if it weren't for them…I wouldn't have met you. :') Please stay being the wonderful Angela that I love to death! XD I pray that your 15**__**th**__** birthday will be your best yet. :)**_

_**Special thanks to Carmen for being an inspiration for the Clark Kent in the rain reference. ;) You totally rock, dear Carma. :D**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Sonny With A Chance**_**; all rights belong to the Disney channel. BOOHOO! Oh, yeah, and I do not own Twizzlers or Red Vines. Or Clark Kent from **_**Smallville**_**! Or **_**Corpse Bride**_** or **_**Sweeney Todd**_**. Gee, I don't own a lot of things in this fic…**_

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"SPY DUCKS!"

Sonny Munroe screamed and jumped from her couch. Her uncontrolled and mischievous cousin Cameryn Dodson, who happened to be Dakota Condor's best friend (don't ask me how or why), laughed cruelly as Dakota, clad in a big yellow duckling costume with a black leather jacket and sunglasses, squatted in a threatening position, ready to chase Sonny around the mansion.

"Cam!" Sonny shouted, backing away towards the living room door, "You'd better stop that now! You know I hate ducks."

"Sonny!" Cameryn mimicked Sonny's tone. "Guess what? That's _why_!" Immediately she and Dakota giggled maniacally and advanced towards Sonny. Panicking, Sonny cried out and rushed out of the living room. She ran down the hallway and veered left to flee downstairs.

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" She screamed. She ran headfirst into the kitchen doors—but they opened and she found herself crashing into a tall, slender boy, and they both tumbled on the floor with a thump.

"Ow! Munroe…" Chad Dylan Cooper growled as he lifted his head from the hard kitchen floor.

Sonny giggled nervously. "Heehee…I'm sorry…" she attempted a cute puppy-dog look at him. But Chad only smirked coldly, firmly hoisted her off his chest, and rose, brushing imaginary dust from his jeans.

Sonny blinked, hating how weak-kneed and hot-faced she felt whenever she was close to the handsome actor from _Mackenzie Falls_. She rose up and smiled uncertainly at him. "Um…so, what are you doing in here? I thought Chad Dylan Cooper didn't do kitchens." She smirked up at him.

Chad rolled his eyes while he flicked a hand through his neatly combed blond hair. Gesturing around the perfectly organized kitchen, "Chad Dylan Cooper does not do kitchens…you are correct, yes. But Chad Dylan Cooper sometimes will break even his own rules if he finds it absolutely necessary." He smirked.

Sonny gave him a disgusted look. "Ahh. And what is so absolutely necessary for Chad Dylan Cooper to break even his own rules that he even is doing kitchens?"

Chad took notice of her sarcasm and walked back to the stove, where a tall silver pot was steaming with something. "Well, Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't really want to tell you. So run along now," he waved his hands, as of dismissing Sonny like a child.

Sonny placed her fists on her hips indignantly. "Chad! You're supposed to be helping me babysit Mr. Condor's daughter and my cousin! That's what we're in your mansion for, remember?"

"Well, Sonny, let's make it simple," Chad enunciated his words snootily; "I don't like them. So you take care of them yourself."

Sonny's mouth opened wide, her eyes flashing with outrage. Just when she raised her hand to slap Chad, she heard the evil little pitter-patters of her little cousin and Dakota running down the hall. Instantly, her face stripped of color.

"_Quack-quack!_" Dakota squawked in the distance.

"Sonny?" Chad's tone suddenly softened and he gazed down at her with sudden concern. "Are you all right?"

"Chad—hide me!" Sonny urged, grabbing his sleeve and looking around frantically.

"Why?" Chad's concern faded just as Sonny's face color returned and she was no longer deathly silent. "You're not afraid of little Dakota and your cousin, are you?"

"That's not what I'm afraid of," Sonny retorted as she headed for the pantry closet. She obviously was avoiding Chad's question. He smirked. "C'mon, tell me—"

"Quack-quack! I am the spy duck, and I will find Sonny and turn her into a chicken! Oh, wait—she ALREADY IS!" Dakota and Cameryn chanted in the distance.

Sonny whimpered and opened the pantry door—just when she saw what was in the pot on the stive next to her. Immediately, her troubles were forgotten as she curiously walked over to look. Now it was Chad's turn to be afraid. "Uh…Sonny! Don't look in there…" He strode forward and grabbed her wrist. But it was too late.

"Chad, what's this?" Sonny pulled away and took the wooden spoon, scooping a thick red liquid up. It steamed and bubbled, and its hot aroma reminded Sonny distinctively like candy.

Gulping and shifting uncomfortably, Chad shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's nothing." He muttered.

"C'mon…tell me," Sonny smiled coyly, knowing Chad was embarrassed about something.

Chad looked into the brunette's cow-brown eyes and wished he could kiss her. He brushed the ridiculous notion aside and tried to get Sonny lost in his eyes again so she's forget about….the secret whatever he was making. Uh, not that _he_ was making it, no. No way. Psh.

It started to work as Sonny's expressive eyes turned from confusion to a dreamy daze. Slowly, Chad took the spoon out of her hand, poured the liquid back into the pot, and set the spoon on its coaster.

But then the temptation became too much. Chad found himself lost in her eyes as well, and leaned down to—

"WHERE ARE YOU, SONNY?" Cameryn screamed.

Instantly, the two jumped literally out of their trances. Alarmed, Sonny rushed to the closet. "Don't tell them where I am!" She pleaded. Chad stammered for her not to go in there, but it was too late.

"Crap," Chad muttered, "I have got to be faster about these things."

The wide kitchen door opened, and two wild-eyed, smirking nine-year-old girls (well, one of them is in a duck costume) stood combatively in the doorway. Chad tried not to show his intimidated feelings and stood casually against the counter. "Hello, girls. You here for a snack?" He raised his eyebrows.

Cameryn smiled sweetly, all traces of devilry in her eyes gone. "Yes, Master Chad," she cooed. "Dakota and I would wike some Nutella and Dowitoes, pwease." She and Dakota cocked their heads, baring their teeth into angelic grins.

But Chad had been forewarned by Sonny of Cameryn's deceptive veneer, and he already had a traumatic past with Dakota Condor. He inwardly shuddered at the memory of being forced to dance with her at that fake "the Basement" club.

"No, you don't," Chad sent them a slight, knowing smile. "You're looking for Sonny. I can hear, you know."

"Oh, yes," Cameryn nodded, her brown curls bobbing up and down. "Where is she, pwease? I want her pewmission to watch _A Nightmawe Befowe Chwistmas_."

Chad prepared to tell them Sonny was hiding in the closet, but then his conscience poked at him painfully, and he regretfully decided with it. "Um…she's probably in my big TV room at the other side of the mansion…at least that's where I saw her head off to." He eyed the girls directly, hoping no lie would show in his eyes.

Fortunately, the girls believed his little story, hook, line, and sinker. They cast each other cruel smiles and bounded out of the room. The sound of their feet (and flippers) echoed through the hallway. The trip to the TV room would definitely take a while.

Chad heard Sonny's sigh of relief. The pantry closet door opened. Sonny stood in a erect, almost two-dimensional position. She shook the tension off her shoulders as she stepped out. Then she saw the paper pasted on the door. Chad groaned.

"Recipe for Red Vines'…" Sonny laughed. "Chad! Really, Chad, really?" She grinned impishly at him.

He scowled. "And I actually didn't reveal where you were hiding! I should have…"

Sonny interrupted. "I'm sorry! It's just that…" she giggled. "Red Vines? You're making _licorice_?"

Chad couldn't deny it. _If I do, she'll never shut up._ He sighed in defeat. "It's called hitting rock bottom, Sonny. I don't like Twizzlers; I prefer Red Vines, but I couldn't find them anywhere. So I decided to try experimenting to make my own…" he grinned, "…And I'll call them Chadalicious Chad Dylan Cooper Cha-vines."

"Chadalicious Chad Dylan Cooper Cha-vines…" Sonny repeated incredulously and put her forehead into her palm. "Oh, Chad, you really are something…"

"I know." Chad smiled in self-satisfaction, oblivious to Sonny's true opinions. "Hey, maybe I'll hire you to be a worker at my future factory!" He tried to cheer her up again.

"Chad!" Sonny blurted out. "I don't want to be a factory worker! I'm on _So Random!_, for goodness sakes!"

"It won't be anymore soon," Chad asserted, raising his chin haughtily.

Hurt appeared in her eyes. "Don't be so sure of that!" She cried.

"Why?" Chad retorted. He wasn't sure whether to keep teasing her further or to stop and apologize.

Sonny stamped her little black shoe. "You're so self-centered and mean, and I really hope that Mr. Condor sees the jerk you are and he'll fire you!" She shouted angrily.

That was the last straw! Chad felt a horrible blow to his pride. He raised a finger threateningly. "We'll see about that, Munroe! What if I went to Mr. Condor first and told him you deserve to be fired?"

"Oh, I'd love to see you _try_, Cooper!" Sonny raised her voice an octave.

"You—" Chad was interrupted by the doorbell. Anger subsiding, his stare left Sonny's face as he looked to the kitchen door. "I wonder who's here…"

"I hope it's Mr. Condor _and_ my aunt Cindy." Sonny muttered. Ignoring her, Chad headed for the front door. Sonny followed him with her head bowed slightly, shoulders slouched, face in a scowl, and arms crossed tightly across her orange vest.

To their complete surprise, neither the beady-eyed owner of Condor Studios or Sonny's petite dark-haired aunt was at the door; instead, two half-pint-sized angelic-eyed girls stood on the marble porch steps. They each held a large pumpkin in their little arms. Chad and Sonny never saw a sweeter sight. (I mean the girls, not the pumpkins.)

"Hello," the shorter, blonde girl smiled, a set of little pearly teeth gapped apart cutely displaying in her mouth. "Are you Mr. Chad Dylan Cooper Sr.?"

"Aaawww." Sonny gushed at how wonderfully polite the girl was. Even Chad couldn't manage himself to snub her coolly. He smiled back. "No, he is not, but I am his son, Master Chad Dylan Cooper Jr."

"Oh, okay," the girl nodded, her chin-length straight hair swaying against her face. "We saw you are selling pumpkins, Master Chad. My name is Bailey, and this is Violet." She cocked her head towards the taller, dark-haired girl, who kept her face down and twirled her curly hair in her finger. "Our mommy wants some pumpkins. But we can't read the signs very well, so will you please help us find the nicest but cheapest pumpkins?"

"Of _course_!" Sonny burst out before Chad could answer. She was practically melting from the cuteness of the little girls.

"Sonny," he sent her a look of mild irritation. Disappointed but understanding, Sonny nodded and fell silent.

He then looked back to the girls. Their wide brown eyes stared up at him expectantly and without any guile. His heart softened. Before he could tell them that Chad Dylan Cooper does not help little girls with reading and buying stuff, he found himself answering, "Of course. My friend Sonny and I would be happy to help you."

Immediately, Bailey and even Violet smiled. "See, Vi, I told you he would help." Bailey smiled a bit smugly but teasingly at her sister. Violet stuck out her tongue but her eyes sparkled with cheer.

"Come on," Chad swept past the girls and headed for his large pumpkin patch on the left side of his front yard. Behind him, Sonny willingly took Bailey's outstretched hand and took her heavy pumpkin for her. Violet wanted to hold on to hers.

They entered the pumpkin patch. "All right, Bailey—where did you find that pumpkin? By the $30 ones? The $20 ones?" He turned around to face Sonny, Bailey, and Violet. "The small ones are $20. The ones you two picked out are $30—medium ones. Large ones are $40, and the Chad-sized ones are $50—"

"That's so expensive," Sonny's eyes widened. "No wonder you haven't been selling since you started them two weeks ago." Bailey and Violet looked at each other uncertainly.

Chad's smile faded. He didn't like being criticized…and especially in front of anyone else! "Well, I didn't ask for your opinion, Munroe." He shot back coolly. He sensed Violet's eyebrows rise in surprise. Bailey swallowed, looking up between the two.

"Well, Chad, I'm only telling the truth," Sonny replied sourly.

Bailey fidgeted uncomfortably. "Um, I think we should go, Violet…" she started.

Just then, a barely audible _crash_ erupted from somewhere inside the wide red brick mansion. Everyone jumped. Chad's eyes widened. "NOT MY TV!" He cried and made a mad dash for the house. "Chad!" He distractedly heard Sonny's shout.

It took them three minutes to finally arrive into the wide, brightened TV room. The walls were a bright white, and on one of them was a wide window out looking a lovely garden maze, and a massive dark green half-moon-arched couch sat in the middle of the room, facing a wide, flat screen plasma TV…that was smashed into the tan-white carpet. Chad was speechless with horror.

"…_Chad!_" Breathless, Sonny finally caught up with him. "…Oh, my." She stopped behind him, staring down at the mess with shock. Flanking the fallen TV were two nervous-faced girls (and one is in a duck costume).

"Uh…it was an accident…" Cameryn's usually confident face was almost fearful. But Dakota quickly masked her fear with a smug smile. "Maybe that'll teach you not to try to do anything funny with me…or _Daddy_!" She shot Chad a threatening glare, her little pug nose scrunched up in a sneer.

"But…but…" Chad's composure collapsed as well as his legs. He fell to his knees. "I…I haven't done anything _funny_! _Funny_ is what _Sonny _does!"

"Are you trying to blame me?" Sonny glared at him. "…No," he whimpered miserably.

"Oh, stop the drama." Sonny rolled her eyes. She faced Cameryn. "Why did you do this?" She frowned at her cousin.

Cameryn shrugged defensively. "We were trying to find you; we thought you might be hiding from us behind the TV."

"_She_ knocked it down." Dakota pointed at Cameryn. Cameryn glanced at Dakota, pure betrayal shining in her eyes. "What?" She cried. "We _both _did this, Dakota…"

Dakota shrugged unsympathetically. She was evidently _not_ a true friend. (How _could_ she _possibly_ be, anyway?)

Chad, done with mourning over his TV (drama king that he is), rose to his feet and glared at the girls. "You two will pay for this—"

"Uh-uh," Dakota raised her finger in a mockingly chiding manner. "My daddy won't make me."

"Well, then, Cameryn will." Chad turned his gaze to the red-faced devil cousin of Sonny's. Her brown eyes widened with horror. "No! Mom won't be able to afford it…please…" she pleaded.

Sony shook her head in disappointment. "It's fine, Cam. I'll pay for it. I think I can afford it with my career salary."

As expected, Cameryn was more than willing to push her burden over to Sonny's shoulders. Chad shook his head in disgust at how selfish Cameryn was. He decided to tell Sonny it was fine and no one had to pay for it—and then he remembered the two little girls outside. As if Sonny read his mind, she spoke up, "Chad! What about little Bailey and Violet?"

"Right…" Chad nodded. "Let's go check on them." He pointed his fingers firmly at Cameryn and Dakota. "Go to the kitchen and eat the fruit assortment I have for your snack—now. And don't touch what's in the pot on the stove! No turning it on or off, you hear?"

"Okay," Cameryn obeyed, eager to get away from her crime scene as quickly as possible. Dakota stuck out her tongue at Chad defiantly but followed suit. Before leaving, she pulled on her duck hood and smirked at Sonny. She shrieked and unexpectedly grabbed Chad and buried her face in his shirt. Dakota cast them a disgusted glance and waddled out of the TV room.

Luckily for Sonny, Chad was in no mood to have a laugh about Sonny's silly fear of ducks. "…Sonny?" He stood motionless, letting the brunette stay latched onto him. Slowly, uncertainly, he reached up and touched her hair softly. "It's okay. Hey. She's gone."

After a few seconds, Sonny finally looked up and loosened her hold on Chad. "I'm…I'm sorry. When I was little, I was bitten by a few mother ducks when I almost fell on their nest. Ever since, I've been afraid of ducks."

"Oh…" Chad felt an unexpected pang of sympathy for this girl. "I…I, uh, I understand."

Finally realizing the closeness between them, Sonny pulled away, much to Chad's disappointment. Annoyed with himself, he swept a hand through his hair and stalked out of the TV room with Sonny at his heels.

They returned outside only to see a little boy had joined Bailey and Violet. They were still there, sitting in the pumpkin patch. They appeared to be having a disagreeable discussion. Violet was shaking her head quickly, Bailey seemed torn between two options, and the wavy-haired boy seemed to be trying to persuade them into something.

"But, Violet, Mom wants these pumpkins!"

"Mom will want them _bought_, not _stolen_!" The quiet Violet spoke up.

"Let's just wait for Master Chad and Miss Sonny!" Bailey raised her hands and her voice in exasperation.

"I'll know if you stole them anyway." Chad shoved his hands in his pockets, glancing at the kids casually. They all jumped.

"Told ya." Violet muttered.

Bailey rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, Master Chad. My little brother can be very naughty at times." She cast the brown-haired boy an almost-motherly, scolding glance. He stuck out his tongue at her.

"I think we'll just get pumpkins from a cheaper farm." The boy announced with an air of superiority in his voice. He placed his little fists on his hips. He seemed rather adorable but cheeky in his knit dark blue vest over his white blouse with thin green stripes and his tan jeans.

"No…Sonny's right." Chad started. He sensed Sonny's surprise from next him. "Look, you kids, how about I lower the price? Ten dollars less on each? I know it's not a big change, but—_ooow_!" He cried out when Sonny elbowed him. The little kids giggled.

"Okay, okay…" Chad sent Sonny an annoyed glance before continuing, "I mean, $5 on the small pumpkins, $8 on the medium, $12 on the large, and $20 on the Chad-sized ones."

"$20?" Sonny wrinkled her nose. Chad nodded, setting his jaw firmly. "Yes, I'm still keeping that high. They're Chad-sized!"

The little boy giggled. "You're funny."

"No, I'm not." Chad retorted. "_She_ is." He finished before realizing he'd just complimented Sonny. "Aaawww…" Sonny giggled. "Thank you!"

_Crap, I've got to watch my own mouth._ Chad fumed inwardly.

"Okay, we will take four small and three medium and two large, please." Bailey smiled politely at Chad. "Of course, anything you say." Chad smiled back. _Oh, goodness. She's already got her finger wrapped around me—oh, my word, Chad Dylan Cooper! Why are you thinking in clichés?_

"Yay! Thanks! I'll go back to my house to get money from Mom!" The boy exclaimed in jubilation and raced towards his mansion across the street. Violet followed him, but Bailey stayed behind. She smiled at Sonny. "You and Chad are a nice boyfriend and girlfriend couple. You remind me of my mommy and daddy, Angela and Carter."

Sonny's face reddened at the statement.

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!" Chad waved his hands. "Sorry, Missy Bailey, but Sonny and I are _not_ a couple. And we _never_ will be." He emphasized the _never_. Then seeing the disappointment in Sonny's beautiful eyes made him regret his words.

"Oh, what a pity," Bailey sighed. "I thought you two were. Well, I still think you two should date." She nodded sincerely.

Chad and Sonny told Bailey a little about themselves, and then after a few minutes Bailey's brother and Violet returned with $70. (To those clueless in math, like me, the real price is $68; you multiply four times three times—oh, wait, don't trust me to teach you math problems.) Chad gave them $2 in change.

"Bye!" Chad and Sonny waved at Bailey, Violet, and their brother—whose name they discovered was Carter William Jacob Connor Fitzpatrick-Schmuck Jr.—as they cheerfully waved back and left for their own home.

"They're really, really sweet, aren't they?" Sonny sighed happily.

"…Yep." Chad nodded nonchalantly, not wanting to agree.

Sonny glanced back at him. "I actually enjoyed babysitting with you, Chad. Can you please let me keep my contentment?"

Chad nodded after a moment's hesitation. _Geez. This girl is making me soft._

The sky thundered, and before you could say _Corpse Bride_, the entire neighborhood was being drenched by rain.

"Well…" Chad looked up at the sky. Raindrops dribbled down his attractive face. (Not as attractive as _Smallville_'s Clark Kent's, but let's not tell Chad that.) "Looks like my Jack Skellington costume I'm wearing for Halloween can't be worn. It's not waterproof."

Sonny giggled. "And I can't go as Fashionata. Her uniform will shrink."

Chad laughed. Sonny laughed along, and soon they were standing in the pumpkin patch, cracking up like a couple of idiots. Okay, that was mean.

Suddenly, Chad couldn't stand it any longer. Sonny seemed way too adorable. Her dark shirt and jeans were drenched, her brown hair was clinging to her face and neck…Chad walked over to her, and before you could say _Sweeney Todd_, Chad pressed a lingering kiss on Sonny's lips. Not three seconds later, Sonny wrapped her arms around Chad's neck and they stood in a tight embrace.

"EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW." Dakota and Cameryn groused in utter disgust from the window of the front living room. They shook their heads, gagging, and left the scene.

Finally, the two separated reluctantly. Sonny sighed. "You taste like Red Vines." She grinned teasingly.

Chad retorted humorously, "You taste like…Moco-Coco-Moco."

Sonny's eyes widened and her mouth formed into an _o_. She giggled. "Don't tell Tawni!" She pleaded half-teasingly. Chad snickered. "Why don't you try and stop me, Munroe."

"Hmm…looks like I'll have to ruin your Chadalicious Chad Dylan Cooper Cha-vines…into something…_Sonnyful_…" Sonny grinned impishly and ran into the house. "HEY!" Laughing, Chad ran after her.

Babysitting the devil girls wasn't so bad anymore. He had Sonny with him, after all.

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_**A/N: OOC? Weird? Random? Stupid? Lame? *Sighs,* I'm getting more and more insecure about my writing… :P Anyway, PLEASE review and let me know what you think! :)**_

_**Angela? I love you so much; I hope this one-shot suits to your liking! :) Have a amazing day; you really deserve it. :D**_

_**And Happy Halloween to the rest of you! :) Don't eat too much candy! :P**_

_**-Heidi Erickson**_


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